Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize