I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
