Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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