dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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