I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
