youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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