remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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