People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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