I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
