I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
