Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
