Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he thought i was a dude.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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