This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Blood and glitter go together right?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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