I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
