no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
