the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
