I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
