HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
