well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
