Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
