it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
