Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
