I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
