I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
