Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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