They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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