SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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