why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
