You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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