maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
