Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
