Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
