I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
