somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
