no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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