i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
