I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
