so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
