So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
