The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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