Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
