in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
