I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
