Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
