dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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