wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
