True but thats because hes a fetus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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