i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
