great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
People in love make me want to vomit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
