Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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